Anxiety can be a tricky thing to fully understand if you haven’t experienced it yourself, but the fact that you care enough to find out stands you in good stead to be of help.
It can mean many different things to many different people, so there will never be a one-solution-fits-all approach, but there are a few things everyone can do (or bear in mind) when looking to help someone they care about who is suffering with anxiety. Here are my Top 5 tips:
1. Recognise what anxiety might look like – Quite often anxiety can mean someone finds it hard to connect and/or communicate with people, even those we care deeply about, so don’t always assume that someone will tell you if they have anxiety or anxious feelings. Be aware of your friend or relative if their behaviour starts to change. If they stop replying so frequently to your messages or answering your calls. If they start to make excuses not to meet you for things they used to enjoy. If they start to appear withdrawn or self-conscious. If their body language changes – look out for things like not wanting to make eye contact, keeping arms crossed over their bodies, twitching feet or other fidgeting movements. Of course, these cues don’t always indicate someone is suffering with anxiety or anxious feelings, but they might be sign they are struggling in some way.
2. Keep contacting them - If your friend or relative lets you know they are suffering from anxiety, or if you just suspect that might be the case, don’t be put off if they stop communicating as well as they might have before. Not replying to your messages, answering your calls, or accepting your invitations is not a demonstration that they no longer like you. It is simply the anxiety answering for them. Anxiety can cause people to become very locked into their own negative world, and this can often be a scary and unsafe-feeling place to be. Keep checking in on them, even when you don’t get a reply. Receiving a message like, “I’m thinking about you and am here whenever you’re ready”, can be a massive comfort to someone finding it tricky to reach out or connect. Just knowing someone is there for you, even if you don’t feel you can access them right now.
3. Opportunities to talk - If the person has opened up to you about their anxiety, give them plenty of opportunities to talk about it and maybe ask them how you can help. Different people suffering from anxiety will prefer different forms of help. Some might want practical advice, some might want someone to accompany them to something that is worrying them (such as a doctor’s appointment or meeting for example), some might want someone just to be with who doesn’t ask too much of them. Try not to push too much for what you think might be best for them as your suggestions, whilst seeming sensible and achievable to you, might seem beyond possibility and fear-inducing right then for the anxiety sufferer.
4. Put yourself in their shoes - Most of us will have felt afraid or worried at some point in our lives, whether it was the first time you went on a plane, giving a presentation, a huge rollercoaster, that spider in your bedroom when you’re wanting to go to bed. So, although you might not have experienced exactly what your friend or relative is going through, you can tap into those memories to have a bit of understanding of what they might be facing. Often anxiety can be a general feeling of unease that is persistent and not specific to a particular thing or event. Imagine feeling that fear you experienced from the minute you wake up to the time you go to bed, and possibly even waking with it in the middle of the night as well. Not much fun. It’s a very tiring and often lonely experience to have anxiety and having someone who cares about you compassionately and empathically can really help.
5. Give them the right to change their minds - Often anxiety can lead people to drop out of engagements and plans at the last minute. The worry, stress and fear simply gets too much to bear and they just can’t face it, but on top of this the dropping out itself can cause further anxiety. Worrying that your friends or relatives will be upset with you, that you’ll ruin someone else’s plans, etc. just fuels that worry-mind and makes the situation even worse. So, by letting your loved one know that you understand they are having a tough time and that if they need to rearrange a get together our outing then that is ok and you will understand helps diffuse that extra layer of stress for the sufferer. Any help is a great help.
Those are just my top 5 tips for helping someone who might be suffering from anxiety. Of course, there are many other ways you might be help and the best thing is usually to ask the person what they need right now.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy is a fast, effective and relaxing way to help with stress, anxiety and general wellbeing. For your free consultation, to find out more, or read reviews please visit:
I'm ready to make contact:
Warmest wishes,
Kim
Yorumlar