Self harm (non-suicidal) is a rising issue in the UK, with its prevalence reporting to have tripled in the last 10 years. But the true numbers are really unknown as the issue remains a taboo subject and many sufferers are not yet comfortable reaching out for help.
The move from primary to secondary school, coinciding with puberty changes, can often be a trigger point for a self harm relationship, with the average age of just 12 being common. Statistics indicate that girls are much more likely to engage in self harm than boys, but, with this said, '24% of boys aged 16-24 have used self-harm as a way of coping according to research by Young Minds, The Mix and SelfharmUK in 2017'*, and many boys are believed to have their self harm go unnoticed because coping mechanisms such as punching a door or starting a playground fight are still seen by many as, "Just boys being boys!". With all the statistics in the world the truth is self harming can affect any type of person at any time in life and it's a lot more common than you might think. Whether you have experienced self harm personally or know someone who has, you are definitely not alone and the issue is continuing to grow.
There are many sides to the debate on the reasons for this, with some blaming the rising issue on the 24/7 connected society we now live in, to social media potentially 'glamorising' or even promoting self harm as a 'modern coping mechanism'. But whatever the part these factors play, the fact remains that more and more people, especially young people, are struggling to cope and are finding themselves turning to self harm as a strategy to get by.
“Non-suicidal self harm is increasingly being reported as a way of coping. We need to help people, especially young people, learn more appropriate and effective ways of dealing with emotional stress,” said lead author Sally McManus, from the National Centre for Social Research in London, UK.**
So what can we do when we find ourselves in a self harm situation? Whether that be ourselves or someone we care about?
1) Talk - The most effective thing we can do is talk. Tell someone you trust if you're struggling with self harm or thoughts of self harming. Talk to your child, friend, relative, or co-worker if you think, or know, they might be struggling with this issue.
2) Listen - If and when those you care about do feel ready to speak make sure you listen in a calm and respectful way. Hearing your child, loved one or friend say they feel this badly can be overwhelming and trigger strong emotions, but try to remain calm. It's great that they trust you enough to start a conversation about it and means they are no longer alone.
3) Ask - Ask them what they would like you to do to help them. Don't assume you know what's best for another because this can often put people off opening up in the future and close down channels of communication. It could even lead to further self harming if they feel they are not being listened to or respected.
4) Act - Be sure to act on the things they have asked for, where possible, and if you feel a request is unreasonable or unsafe for them, or others, then convey this to them in a respectful way. See how you can work a way around the issue to a place where you both feel comfortable.
5) Research - Find out more about the issues you or the person you care about are facing. Having a better understanding yourself can lead to you making more informed choices and considered suggestions about how to move forward. I have linked some resources at the bottom of the blog, but there is a wealth of information out there to tap into.
Where to turn for help? This is going to be an individual choice based on whether you're looking for yourself or someone you care about and what you/they would feel comfortable with, but here is a short list a few places you can consider:
School / Education Settings - Most educational settings have a dedicated team member who can help with issues relating to mental health such as self harm and could be a good first port of call where young people are involved. They may be able to provide counselling or other support services within the education setting, or help you access other resources that you may not be aware of.
GP / Doctors Surgeries / NHS - You may wish to have a discussion with your GP or access resources provided by your local surgery or the NHS, which can be accessed online.
Charities - There are specialist self harm charities that can be accessed online, by phone, email, text or webchat support. Here are just a few:
Self Injury Support - https://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/
Harmless - https://harmless.org.uk/
Self Harm UK - https://www.selfharm.co.uk/
Private Talking Therapies / Hypnotherapy / Etc - You can research private practices within your area, and many practices offer services online now also. There are some who specialise in working with young people and/or in a variety of different ways, such as art or play therapy for example. Take your time to review each practice and take up offers of free consultations, where available, so you can see if you have rapport with the therapist. Choose someone you feel comfortable with.
You are not alone!
If you would like a free, initial consultation to discuss the issues you are facing and to see whether hypnotherapy could help you, please feel free to contact me or book an appointment online at: https://www.kimhypnotherapy.co.uk/book-online
Warmest wishes,
Kim
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